Home Team

So last night was our first time attending a home team. I would explain what a home team is but for the 5 that read my blog I think you all know what it is. (lol) I admitted last night and I'll admit it here again, I was 'scared' to go. A part of me wanted to go and the other part of me would have rather crawled into a deep deep hole and bury myself.

I made cookies at work and decided to take them to the home team. I love my cookies but oh my gosh my cookies had nothing on the other food there. That tator tot hot dish from Birgit or the king ranch chicken from mom or that butter cake from Laura...I believe if I continue in these home teams I may stand a chance of gaining a pound or two. When we first got there I felt ok as it was just me, Mike, mom, dad, Krysten, pastor Danny and his wife Birgit. As more people came in my anxieties rose and I felt myself going into my hole. What would they think of me? Would they be like mom and dad and accept me for who I really am? What's going to happen? What do I do next? Can I just get by without saying anything so I don't sound stupid? Yeh it's that bad people. I may be able to make stupid random videos on facebook or wherever but in reality I am a really shy person. Face to face is A LOT different than in person.

So we 'broke bread' as Pastor Danny likes to call it and just had a little small talk. I just peeked out of my hole every couple of minutes to see what everyone was doing. After dinner we migrated to the living room and I knew I was about to face my big fear of having to open my mouth and actually speak. This wasn't like church where there's 75-100 people around you and you can get by without responding to a question. No, no, no we had about 12 people in our home team last night and I just knew I was going to have to speak. Every time Pastor Danny asked a question I just sat there in silence avoiding eye contact in hopes he wouldn't ask me directly. Although I had answers in my heart, I prayed that God would give the answers to someone else, we have a good God. (lol)

God began to deal with my heart and I knew He was not going to continue to just let me sit there on the couch with my sweaty palms and anxiety and have everyone else participate and not me. I can't even remember the question exactly but I know we all had to give an answer. I saw God grinning from ear to ear as I just looked toward heaven and gave him a "ha ha VERY funny God" kind of look. So I braced myself and raked my brain to think of something genius and astounding to say that would blow everyone's mind. Again I don't know what my response was but I know it was nothing "Einstinish" as I was planning on. To my surprise my response was accepted and I didn't feel stupid. So I waited in anticipation for the next question to see if it would work again. To my surprise it did I was like dude I am getting pretty good at this. (lol)

I began to lighten up and just allow my heart to speak. I was there for me and for God to teach and change me. I SHOULDN'T be there to try and impress anybody and I found out last night I don't have to. I was accepted for who I was and although I was the 'new gal' I felt love and acceptance and it felt good. We had a really great time last night and we look forward to next week as well. I highly suggest that you plug in at your church. Check with your pastor or whoever and see if they have small groups that you can get involved in. If they don't...maybe it's time they do...maybe you will start the first 'home team' at your church. The food is great and I love me some food especially when I am not the cook, but that's not even the best part of home team. Food can fill you up physically but that spiritual fill up will blow you away!

Love, Hugs & Blessings
Tracey