Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

This past week a lot of 'weird' things have been happening. Such as, my body reacting differently to foods I (used to) LOVE, taking naps, cramping and being 'unusually' happy for 'no apparant' reason. Cut the chit chat and to a few small stories of small talk with friends.

I was home one day and was so tired I don't even remember falling asleep. I woke up 2 hours later got online to go to FARM TOWN (yay me). I ran into a beloved friend Christine Thody also Sylvia Hillier. I was talking to both of them in two different places but all through facebook. I was telling my friend Christine sorry for missing her message but I was taking a nap which was so odd for me. Her reply "Pregnant women take naps"...ummm ok whatever!!!

At the same time on facebook I switch conversations and see what Sylvia is talking about to find that she is telling me she had a dream of me being pregnant the previous night. Oooook so my friends have pregnancy on the mind apparantly.

I just brush it off...well tried to...thinking could it really possibly be??? After a year could we have finally SCORED??? I told mike that if I got any tips at work the next week I'd take Melissa Doddridge's advice and go get a pregnancy test at Dollar General. That night I myself had a dream I was pregnant. I totally rubbed that off as coincedence seeing how that's all we talked about the day before.

Yesterday at work I went in trying to clear my mind of the pregnancy issue. I get my first customer..."Hello welcome to Subway what can I get for you today"? We go through the whole line and come to the end..."Would you like chips, drinks or cookies with that today"? Sure I'll take 2 sugar cookies is the man's reply. As I am reaching for the cookies he's going through his wallet and says "Wait a minute hold the cookies...I want to leave you a tip!"

NO WAY did this dude just say he's not going to buy cookies to leave me a tip????? I finish my customer out and call mike and tell him about what just happened and that we should get a test after work...Consider it done...litterally. Mike had already gone to the store and bought 2 pregnancy test. I got off work early in anticipation, rushed home and took the test.

My birthday is May 7th and I could not have asked for a better birthday present in my entire life. I will be posting pictures on facebook as time goes by and you can follow my journey of pregnancy. To my friends and 'family' that are here supporting me I am so blessed and happy to have yall in my life!

Monday, April 27, 2009

So Simple

There is a song that I really enjoy called "You Won't Relent" by Jesus Culture. There's a part in the song where they say..."I don't wannna talk about you like you're not in the room wanna look right at you wanna sing right to you." How powerful is that???? Well I decided to start living my life this way. Weather I am walking to work or trying to hurry to get the store open or just chillaxing watching tv, I always have Him by myside. When I need or want something I just look beside me and say Jesus do you mind doing this for me?

It started out with like extremely little stuff like asking Him to help me sleep, make a headache go away, make my back stop hurting. All that I could arrogantly call coincidence. I was at work and I got really tired of cutting ONIONS!!! My last subway I didn't have to worry about it they came in bags...but here in Blanco oh no they make you actually work! I decided to put this to the test. I looked to my side and I said hey Jesus you think you could place your hand over my eyes for me be a shield for my eyes while I cut these onions. I waited about 10 seconds and then I went to work.

Now I didn't feel some cool presence over me or anything covering my eyes but I knew that if anyone could keep my eyes from running like the mississippi river God could and I was willing to let Him help me. Sure enough by time I had finished the onions I had 1 tear fall from my left eye. I have done this for the last couple weeks at work and others are starting to wonder...What's her secret? AWESOME witnessing tool. Grant it they all look at me like I've lost my mind...but deep down I think they are really questioning it. Honestly I believe there are some mumbling a certain request when they cut onions now. =)

Last night I did it again. I went hanging out with the Schnabel's Satuday at the rodeo and got a pretty bad sunburn (on half of my body). Last night I decided I might as well get my shower over with and endure the pain. I was for sure I'd wake up the entire Blanco county as soon as the water hit me, but I decided to take a different approach. I asked a similiar favor with God there by my side, to protect my sunburn where it's not unbarable. Believe it or not...I believe that was one of the best feeling showers I've ever taken. Yes I could feel a LITTLE sting when washing over the area and drying off but nothing as I imagined it to be.

Sometimes I believe we forget that God wants to provide for even our smallest needs that we may find silly to even ask for. God is not far off in some distant galaxy...He is right here with us. I love having this attitude and I pray that you adapt to it as well because it's so rewarding to have. "I don't wanna talk about you like you're not in the room, wanna look right at you wanna sing right to you".

Love, Hugs & Blessings.

P.S. Hi Rose, I love ya! I am praying for you. =)

Monday, April 13, 2009

God is Faithful.

Last week was extremely hard for me. My hours were cut at work from 30 to 16 which btw is NOT even close enough to pay our bills. I freaked out and lost focus of who my provider is. I didn't know what I was going to do, I was contemplating a new job I was thinking of ways to get hours back, I was even close to sacraficing time with Mike to gain more hours by working nights. I talked to a really good friend of mine who lead me in a prayer and reassured me that God is my provider not subway.

I had a talk with my manager and she told me some things I was not happy with. The lady I just trained the week before was now taking my hours?!?! The only way I was going to get more hours was to work nights and weekends. After prayer with my friend I held onto that prayer and began asking God what He wanted from me. I honestly did not feel my time was up at Subway. I contacted the owner of our subway and told him of the situation he was clueless as to what was going on. He said he would work on the schedule himself and get it worked out.

Today I went into work and the first thing I hear from the owner is...If you're going to quit just quit if you don't want to work here fine go find another job. I was the one left clueless on this one, apparantly this is what my owner heard through the grapevine. I told him that he was hearing from a sour grapevine because I had no plans of quitting and I want to make things work at Subway. So then we go to the back and we have a discussion about the way the store is going and what needs to change. He then tells me that he is giving me the title of assistant manager...WITHOUT the pay!!!

Honestly I was upset by this. Grant it I am already doing the job of the title I just don't have the respect from a couple of crew members. I know that's what the owner was trying to do is just get me the respect from everybody and with the title of assistant manager they're more likely to listen to me. I walked off and went on to making sandwiches all along in a thankful prayer to God. Although I was a bit upset that he wants me to take on more responsibility without getting the pay I knew God answered a prayer...I was given more hours. I gave thanks to God for giving me more hours that I asked for, I was truly thankful for that (my hours were increased to 28 SCHEDULED hours which by the end of the week will be more like 30-31 WORKED hours).

I walked to the back to get some prep started when the owner stopped me. He said "Tracey I was just thinking and you're right you do need a raise." He informed me that our store is down in sales and the pay roll is too high. We have to get the store back to where it belongs in sales and as far as our crew. I am promised a raise when I get the sales up! So not only did God supply me with more hours, He has given me a promotional title at work AND He is supplying me with a raise in the near future. God is so faithful!

I felt bad for the way I reacted the other day finding out that I only had 16 hours. I asked God for forgiveness for that and I know I am forgiven. Thanks to my friends that took the time to talk with me and pray me through this past week. Today I believe I showed God that I was sincere in asking for forgiveness when I gave Him thanks rather than getting upset all over again...in return He was even more faithful to me. God is our provider He knows our needs and wants and He is faithful to provide in His time and His will.



Love, Hugs & Blessings

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Approval Addiction

So I have a confession to make. I do indeed have an addiction to approval. I even recreated a twitter account to see how much approval I can get. After a few days of having it now I see that I don't have much approval and those that I once called friend and some I still considered friends want nothing to do with me. I began to get upset because I know why this is but that is irrelevant. I immediately began thinking of a nasty blog that I could put together about how horrible some people are blah blah blah. How much better does that make me?

I went to God and asked His forgiveness for my thoughts and that said out loud out of emotions. Of course He forgives me then shows me something so spectacular. I am so eagar to find approval from all of these people and I am willing to do whatever it is to make things right and do this and do that say this and don't say that just to be accepted. All the time God is standing their with open arms calling out my name saying "I'll accept you I approve of you come to me".

Why do we care so much about what other people think? Why do we try so hard to be in with the 'cool' crowd?? I believe it's because we're human BUT when we have Christ in us when do we stop making excuses for our behavior and make the choice to take a stand and change? I want to be one of those people where people come to me and want to be my friend and begin asking questions of WHY? Why are you like this you're different what is it? That is an awesome testimony and that will lead to a beautiful friendship because you know it is God that brought you two together.

My name is Tracey and I am an Approvaholic, but my God has set me free and I am going to be a new woman in Christ. We don't have to work or earn His approval...He approved of us over 2,000 years ago when He not only died for us but He ROSE up from the grave. He rose up in victory and that victory is ours if only we would claim it and walk in it every day of our lives. People will wonder what has gotten a hold of us and they will ask "what's up"?

Love, Hugs & Blessings

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Restoration

Recently I have been struggling with stepping back from some people to allow God to do what He wants to do in us. I have prayed, I have cried, I have reminisced, I have laughed and I have fell back on my face in prayer. It has been anything and everything but easy to go through this but I have learned a lot and I am sure there's still a few things God is wanting to show me through it all.

We attended church at the Journey today and we were actually missed...yes that surprised me but it felt good. They even remembered our names LOL. Today I was greeted and embraced by a very special friend...one that I have had to take a few steps back from. It brought tears to my eyes but for the first time in 2 months...it was tears of relief, joy, healing and restoration.

The service was great it was all about prayer. I got a lot out of today's service as I usually do at the Journey, but today...today was special. I am tired, I am exausted but on the inside...I am smiling...from organ to organ.

Love, Hugs & Blessings.