Most people know of the stuff I have been going through lately, but they don't know of how it is completely changing my life. This will be the one and only time I say this for the simple fact, that I don't want to sound like a complainer or hear someone preach about faith or God can heal you. My faith is strong, not as strong as I would like it at times but none the less. I know what God has done and can continue to do. Please note this blog is not looking for encouragement or pity. I just need to get this out.
Not too long ago I decided that the headaches everyday and the ongoing pain was just enough. I went to a chiropractor and had tests and x-rays done. Long story short, I have spinal degeneration/subluxations and scoliosis. I go to the chiropractor every week to be adjusted in hopes that they can fix the problem or at least slow the process down. Headaches are fewer and my pain has decreased a lot. That in itself, the medical bills, adjusting to the adjustments, it's a lot to take in on one person.
That's not all that has had to be adjusted. I've always been an independant kind of woman. Now that is being taken from me. I can not do the things I used to do. I have to watch every little thing I do the way I move and turn. Yes, before I was in pain but not knowing why so I just figured it was a causal headache. Now that I know what it is I know I must be cautious or I could do more damage to what is already there. Being a newly wed wife, it also causes strain. I want to be a wife for my husband and not just a houseguest. I want to be able to clean the house and cook him dinner and all the 'wifey stuff', and sometimes I just can't do it. I can't clean certain areas of the house mostly the bathroom such as the shower. Vaccuming I can do but have to ask for help taking it up and downstairs. I can not vaccum my stairs any more.
What would take some people maybe 2 minutes to do will take me 10 minutes to do. The harder I push myself I know the more I will suffer from it later. It is tough, but I pray everyday for God to give me the strength. It's not just at home it's at work too, as far as prepping foods and such I always have to ask for help. It is really a burden on me to bother someone for 2 minutes to do such a simple task as moving a box for me. There are times I cry myself to sleep at night from frustration and confusion as to why I am having to go through this.
My sister and parents tell me all the time, Romans 8:28 (look it up). I know they are right and I love them for reminding me of it. Right now I honestly do not see how this will work out for good, but I know in time I will. I know there will come a time, maybe 5 years from now, that I look back and say Thanks God now I see why I went through all of that. I am not here to ask for sympathy, pity, feel sorry for myself or even to ask for prayer. I just needed to get this out, in hopes that people will be more understanding. I don't need you to preach to me about having faith in God no matter what. I know that, and I have faith He is going to heal me. Maybe now you understand a little more on how one problem can affect and alter your whole life.
Thanks to my husband Mike and my family that are always there to support and encourage me. I love yall.
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I read carefully the words you wrote before posting this. Know this, I do not believe in coincidences, in random events, or in chance meetings. Believers connect and meet for a purpose. In reading your post from this day I could not help but to connect even more closely to you because of what I have been through in the last 3 years. Though the details of the mountain are not the same, the struggles are similar. My prayer is that I can be a spiritual resource to you in this trial that lays before you.
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